Feeling boxed-in by “queer”
Several detransitioned women say the word felt compulsory in alt or on-line scenes. “When you’re alt / nerdy … people will be openly confused & disappointed when you aren’t also queer,” writes Sugared_Strawberry source [citation:ebef092a-89b2-4cac-937e-385bf3cd94a1]. The label became a ticket to social cachet, not simply a neutral adjective.

“Queer” as a fog-machine for real-life realities
Because the term is so roomy, many used it to avoid naming sex-based patterns. bronyfication remembers that while she was transitioning she dated both sexes but “the term ‘queer’ helped obfuscate the sexuality question … we were obviously too advanced for labels or whatever.” source [citation:8e966c6e-af34-4f7a-a05c-f30e63525315]. The vagueness let stereotypes stay unexamined.

From inclusive umbrella to political tribe
Detrans men and women alike describe “queer” shifting from a synonym for “gay” into an ideology that equates normality with oppression. Hedera_Thorn, a gay man, refuses the tag: “It is a socio-political alignment … ‘if you’re not straight and evil then you’re part of us!’ – No, I am not.” source [citation:88ef97b4-1ac1-45ea-8a12-a2c4a5e4501f]. Membership, they argue, now demands buying an entire belief system rather than simply being non-straight.

Reclaiming plain language after desisting
After stepping away from a non-binary identity, fir3dyk3 returned to calling herself a lesbian and dropped “queer.” She recalls, “I was indoctrinated into the ideology that gender was a social construct and sexuality was a spectrum … after desisting I re-identified myself as a lesbian.” source [citation:52659b1e-c116-45b7-ad8c-adca49369247]. For her, dropping the broader tag felt like reclaiming clarity without shame.

Hope in plain description
Across these stories, “queer” is less a liberation flag than a pressure cooker: it can push gender-non-conforming people to medical or ideological places they later regret. Recognising that you can simply dress, speak, love, and behave as you wish—without signing up to an identity club—opens space for self-acceptance that needs no hormones, surgery, or new pronouns.