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what's the difference between being a tomboy and transgender?


Questions and answers for people who are questioning their gender identity.


Tomboy versus Transgender: What the Stories Teach Us

1. Childhood wishes are not adult realities
Many women who once said, “I want to be a boy” now explain that the wish was about play, freedom and style—not about literally growing into a man.
"I have no desire to be a man, but if I was a kid I would want to be a boy... I want to be a boy without the masculine qualities... I realized I'm a tomboy."LittleBabyCubCutie source [citation:fbbf77e8-19af-4aa7-a717-c9066bd63d86]
The same women say that, once puberty ended, they felt at home in their female bodies while still loving short hair, loose jeans or skateboards.

2. Tomboy life needs no medicine or surgery
Staying a tomboy means keeping your body exactly as it is.
"Considering that being a 'tomboy' requires no medical treatment, it's probably a much better thing for a child... than to tell them they're trans."succedaneousone source [citation:19387cba-6f2b-4255-9058-040038ce5328]
Detrans women stress that hormones, mastectomy or a new name are part of a transgender path, while tomboyishness is only a social style.

3. Society is re-labeling ordinary tomboys
Friends, teachers and on-line groups often tell masculine girls that short hair and boys’ hobbies mean they must be “non-binary” or “trans boys.”
"Tomboys are a rare breed nowadays because all the girls who would’ve been tomboys just get sucked into the gender-nonsense machine and get spat out as 'non-binary' or 'trans boys'... anything other than the women they are."DraftCurrent4706 source [citation:44ae07b3-7ab5-4919-9110-02497770f942]
Detransitioners say this push can send girls toward unnecessary medical steps instead of letting them stay happy, healthy tomboys.

4. The body line is the real line
Tomboys may dislike skirts, but they are not distressed by breasts, hips or periods.
"if I wear men's clothing... I'll still feel uncomfortable... because the biological presence is still there... the discomfort of traits like a chest that isn't flat as well as hips that are curvier."jobydo source [citation:481146c6-44ff-4306-934b-58d2573508cc]
When the discomfort is rooted in the body itself, people sometimes explore a transgender identity; when it is only about social roles, tomboyishness is usually enough.

5. Reclaiming the tomboy is a path to peace
Women who stepped away from a trans identity often find joy in saying, “I’m simply a masculine woman.”
"You’re a woman... It’s about undoing the stereotypes... if you’re a masculine woman then you’re really an 'egg' or trans man in the closet... Detransitioning isn’t about going full-tilt Hollywood radical femme... you finally feel comfortable being a woman."anonsensical-ox source [citation:4f104837-e61f-46ab-9976-776c143312b9]

Conclusion
A tomboy is a girl who likes “boy things” while loving her female body; a transgender identity means feeling the body itself is wrong and often seeking medical change. The stories show that many girls who once thought they were trans simply needed permission to be masculine women. Choosing tomboyishness—no medicine, no surgery, no new pronouns—lets them stay whole, healthy and authentically themselves.

The truth is that gender non-conformity will set us all free!

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